Date:	2009-07-10 11:58
Subject:	Friday fun: a great fan video!
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic
Music:	What's in the video!

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Date:	2009-07-09 21:44
Subject:	Ah, couture season! I love the smell of frying money.
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	"Funkier Than a Mosquito's Tweeter" - Joe Bonamassa

You know what's freaking me out about this season's couture shows?

I LIKE STUFF.

What's up with that? Do these designers not understand that the whole basis of couture is to create THINGS NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD NEVER WEAR?

Even my old standby, Mr. Jean-Paul Gaultier, has actually -- probably mistakenly -- created a show that has about 70% clothes actual Earth women would wear. (If you know Gaultier, you know how weird that is.)

( Witnesseth ... )

I've only checked out Gaultier and Chanel so far, and it's kind of startlingly good this season. May this bode well for ready-to-wear? Probably not. Sigh.

ETA: I just watched part of Christian Lacroix's slideshow, and my brain exploded. Rest assured, Alien Couture is not dead.

See?



Most of his show is like an episode of Torchwood gone very, very wrong, set in the 1920s, with consumptive brain-eating aliens. I could only make it through part of it. Models are either wearing formal satin swim caps, or boxes on their heads. It made Gaultier look sane.

BE AFRAID.


-- R.

Date:	2009-07-06 10:11
Subject:	Research poll for YA
Security:	Public
Mood:	curious
Music:	"Get In, Get Out" - Cinder Road

Okay, guys, it's homework time! Except it's really easy homework. I have to do all the work.

I'm giving a lecture about young adult literature in late July, so I'm doing research, and I figured I'd go to my lovely flist here and on Myspace for some good data.

Feel free to post elaboration in the comments!

( Poll ahoy! Click and deliver! )

There. That was painless, right? Walk it off, man. Walk it off.

-- Rachel

ETA: Sorry about some of the questions not being on target. Best I could do on one cuppa Starbucks and off the top of my head. But honestly, "all of the above" doesn't help much when you're trying to parse data, and I can't edit a poll once it's open, so if one reason applies more than another, go with that one, 'k? Thanks!

Date:	2009-06-30 13:03
Subject:	BITTEN BY BOOKS Release Event!
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	"Hurricane" - Aynsley Lister

I'm very excited to say that the lovely people at BITTEN BY BOOKS are graciously hosting a new contest and release party for me ... click here or the image below to read the blog and enter the contest!





P.S. - Yep, finished with the next Outcast Season book, UNKNOWN ... and I don't yet have a release date yet, sorry. Probably February 2010, I'm guessing.

Date:	2009-06-23 09:57
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	ditzy
Music:	"Time is Running Out on Me" - Aynsley Lister

Yes, okay, no, there's NO MOVIE OR TV NEWS, okay?! So just hang on to those horses, there.

But since I've gotten an avalanche of emails and questions about who I see in my head as the character of Myrnin (from the Morganville Vampires series, for those not up on the latest), I thought I'd give it a shot to show you what I imagine.

So I present to you a couple of candidates for Myrnin. And a poll. NOT THAT EITHER OF THEM ARE REMOTELY INVOLVED WITH ANY FILM PROJECT OF ANY KIND RELATED TO MORGANVILLE. There. That's clear, right? I'm just playing, here.

/disclaimers.

( Click for images and poll ... )

Enjoy. Happy Tuesday!

Date:	2009-06-19 21:24
Subject:	All right ... how about a scientific way to do this request thingy?
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	"Prayer" - Lizzie West

I've registered at Eventful, so now you can tell me where you want me to go.

(NOT THERE. Stop that. I am not going there.)

View all Rachel Caine tour dates

Date:	2009-06-19 17:56
Subject:	Reminder: Book signing tomorrow @ Legacy Books
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	"Running Up That Hill" - Kate Bush

Just a reminder:

Book signing tomorrow!

2 p.m.
Legacy Books
Dallas North Tollway & Legacy Dr.
Plano, Texas
Map here

There will be CARPE CORPUSing. And also, NEW GIVEAWAYS HOT OFF THE PRESSES.

I'm just sayin'.

-- Rachel

Date:	2009-06-18 09:24
Subject:	HALP!
Security:	Public
Mood:	dorky
Music:	"The Hop" - Berlin Citizen

Okay, I know my LJ friends are the Font of All Knowledge, and I have become Dory from FINDING NEMO, with a three-second memory.

Someone (and I'm so sorry I can't remember who!) either emailed me, Facebooked me, Myspaced me, or LJ commented me about a teachers or librarians conference being held later on this year that I might be interested in attending.

I CAN'T REMEMBER A THING ABOUT IT, including which city it's in (although possibly Chicago?!). It had initials, like ETLA or ETLC or something like that, but I can't find it in any of my various funnels of information, because hey, when I opened them: avalanche! Everybody run! Save yourselves!

Any clues?

Date:	2009-06-18 06:50
Subject:	Omnibus editions
Security:	Public
Mood:	creative
Music:	"John Barleycorn" - Traffic

Hey, guess what? My U.S. publisher (NAL Jam) is going to put out a special trade paperback omnibus 2-in-1 edition of GLASS HOUSES and THE DEAD GIRLS' DANCE, in November, to coincide with the release of FADE OUT! With a cool new cover (details as soon as I get 'em)!

I'm all kinds of excited about that.

And no, you don't have to buy the books again. UNLESS YOU REALLY REALLY WANT TO. The idea is that it may draw in a new audience who don't necessarily see the mass market paperbacks, which normally get shelved under "teen series." This is a little difficult to find unless you already know it's there. The series has kind of been the Little Engine That Could, all because of the commitment and enthusiasm of readers. And I am so, so grateful for that.

Speaking of which ... I know that it sucks to have a series switch formats in midstream -- for instance, you've been faithfully collecting the mass market paperbacks, and all of a sudden wham, the next book is in trade paperback or hardcover. Good for writers, bad for readers/collectors. So this new omnibus thing is kind of a win/win -- it's starting from the beginning of the series in a new format, but doesn't change what's going on currently in the series.

Crossing my fingers it all goes well ...

Rachel

Date:	2009-06-18 06:46
Subject:	New UK cover - CARPE CORPUS!
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	"Sugar" - The Respectables

I have to say, my British publisher is doing amazing things with the covers. Check this out:



I think they're shooting for a November release. The photo doesn't really do justice to how lovely these covers are, with all the texturing and three dimensionality. Awesome. I AM NOT WORTHY!

-- Rachel

Date:	2009-06-14 17:25
Subject:	ZOMG SQUEE.
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	"Glory Box" - Portishead

There are really no words for how cool this is.



Michael Shanks ZOMG. I am frantically waving hi right back.

My dear Heidi: YOU ROCK. :helpless weeping and prostration: You have no idea how much I needed it, locked as I am in a death struggle with The Current Book of Doom. (I hasten to say that ALL books are BOOKS OF DOOM on the last couple of days of the deadline. It's not, y'know, personal with the book.)

Also, Mr. Shanks: thank you. Thank you for being cool enough to do these goofy things.

And thank you, Heidi, for being nutty enough to ASK him. Mercy me. I truly do not deserve my friends.

But I will try, I swear. I WILL TRY.

-- Rox (aka, Rachel, etc.)

Date:	2009-06-14 07:33
Subject:	New car. Same pirate flag.
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy
Music:	"Funkier Than a Mosquito's Tweeter" - Joe Bonamassa

So, I went to the Smart Center yesterday, because we got a call that offered us a trade-in on our year-old car for a brand new 2009 model, at a much lower finance rate. Which was all kinds of awesome, because we had almost run out of warranty miles in a year.

Here's the sneaky part. The cars on display in the Smart Center are this FANTASTIC new chameleon paint process. Purple/blue. Green/gold. OMG the shimmery goodness. You just stare and stare at them. Then, cleverly, they take you to the garage and show you the "standard colors" you can choose from, which look, by contrast, like mud (although they're still perfectly nice, k?).

Long story short: traded in for a new white Passion Coupe. Having it painted in shimmery copper/gold, with custom powder-coated black rims. OMG WTF. Except, yay! It's going to be totally awesome. It's like Pimp My Smart Car.

ETA: Link to the chameleon paint, although it looks classier in person -- and tres adorable on the Smart Car.

------------------------

And also:



It's that time again, for UNKNOWN, the second book of the Outcast Season series. I'm hurting, but I'm going to get there by the time my editor reaches her office on Tuesday morning.

What is this sleep you speak of? I know it not.

Oooh, audiobook of GLASS HOUSES is out. Sweet! Not available through Audible.com yet, but it will be. Also, iTunes. Soon.

-- R.

Date:	2009-06-04 12:45
Subject:	CARPE CORPUS Release contest winners!
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic
Music:	"Come on, Come On" - The Von Bondies

I'm ready to announce all but ONE of the winners in the CARPE CORPUS release day contest, and show you the fantastic prizes that they've won. Ready? Here we go!

( Click here to see all the prizes and winners! )

Statistics ... there were over 1100 entries into the contest this time around, which is just astounding. Thank you all for participating, and stay tuned ... there will be a BITTEN BY BOOKS event at the end of June that will include even more giveaway items, including a Sony eReader!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping Morganville rolling. The Bloodmobile will be stopping by later. :)

Best wishes,

Rachel

Date:	2009-06-02 08:06
Subject:	Ooooh, it's release day!
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	"Ladylike" - Big Wreck

Happy CARPE CORPUS release day, everybody!

Check your mailboxes if you entered the contest. YOU COULD BE A WINNER! And congratulations to andieness, who scored the MP3 CD of LORD OF MISRULE, too. And Lola on Myspace who won the blog contest for posting her early purchase info.

As a reminder, the prizes were:

1 - custom Morganville High School letter jacket
1 - custom Morganville High School class ring
2 - custom Morganville High School yearbooks

Plus signed copies of CARPE CORPUS.

Additionally, five runners-up were chosen to receive signed copies as well.

If you didn't win, don't be sad ... lots of releases this year, tons of chances to win! Next up, I'll be participating in the BITTEN BY BOOKS release contest on June 30, and the prizes will include signed copies of CARPE CORPUS and a Sony eReader!

Jeez, I'm the literary equivalent of a frequent flyer program, aren't I? :)

-- R.

Date:	2009-05-31 14:25
Subject:	Upcoming signings
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic
Music:	"Bounce" - The Cab

Think I forgot to mention this in the excitement of the last post!

I will be signing books next weekend (Friday/Sat/Sun, June 5-7) at SoonerCon, a science fiction convention in Oklahoma City. Author Guest of honor is the amazing Dave Wolverton, and Artist GoH is my good friend Brad Foster. Toastmaster is the ever-crazy and wonderful Selina Rosen. Visit the website!

Next, I will be signing books in Fort Worth, Texas (my home town!) on Friday, June 12 at 7 p.m.:

Barnes & Noble
University Park Village
1612 S. University Dr. #401
Fort Worth, TX 76107
817-335-2791

The following week I will be signing in Dallas on Saturday, June 20 at 2 p.m.:

Legacy Books
Legacy & the Dallas North Tollway
7300 Dallas North Parkway
Plano, Texas 75024
972-398-9888


Come see me! :)

Date:	2009-05-31 12:38
Subject:	Bounce bounce bounce AUDIO BOOK!
Security:	Public
Mood:	drunk
Music:	"I Got Mine" - The Black Keys

So, this totally sneaked up on me. You'll understand why in a second, but I'm very pleased to announce that LORD OF MISRULE is now available as an audiobook, read by the magnificent Cynthia Holloway -- the voice of Anita Blake for Laurell K. Hamilton's audiobooks, and a great actor in her own right! I'M SO EXCITED! Not to mention honored!

Cynthia's website
Cynthia's IMDB page

You can download Lord of Misrule on iTunes, or from Audible.com, and the CDs are available in three flavors of packaging at the Tantor Audiobooks website, here. HOW COOL IS THAT?

Damn cool, I say.

So, here's why it snuck up on me: I was assuming they were starting with GLASS HOUSES, which is out on June 8 (with the other books following one a month until we were caught up). Nope. LORD OF MISRULE actually stealth-slipped onto the virtual shelves weeks ago! I just downloaded my copy, and bought the CDs -- two different copies actually.

So ... who wants to get a FREE MP3 CD of LORD MISRULE? COMMENT BELOW! I will choose a winner at midnight on Monday, June 1 (Central Time) ... international entries are okay. I love you all.

CARPE CORPUS is already on the shelves in a lot of places, and already SOLD OUT in a lot of places. Rock!

Okay, I guess I'd better pull myself together and get back to work on UNKNOWN. Never was a book more aptly named, by the way. I keep staring at it, it stares back, and it's the most inscrutable thing I've ever worked on. This is not a bad thing, it's just ... disconcerting. Normally my stories talk to me. This one just ... walks on ahead. Mysterious!

-- Rachel

ETA: I just discovered that the audiobooks are ALSO available via the Barnes & Noble website, here.

Son of ETA: I've chosen the winner! It's andieness! andieness, please email me at rachel@rachelcaine.com with your mailing address for the CD! CONGRATULATIONS!

Date:	2009-05-29 13:06
Subject:	I'm featured at Worst Review Ever!
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	"It's the Little Things" - Danny Elfman

If you haven't been to this blog, you're in for a treat ... it's called The Worst Review Ever, and it's maintained by the lovely YA author Alexa Young ... who dealt with a scathing review in a very interesting and constructive way.

Basically, she created a showcase in which people could put up their worst reviews and talk about how it made them feel, what they did about it, etc., then people could vote on them, and eventually someone would be crowned with the semi-enviable title of Worst Review Ever.

(I doubt I'm in the running -- honestly, a lot of the other reviews are much worse than what I threw in the hat. But still. It's terribly therapeutic!)

So enjoy. I'm now an official Worstie! Woot!

Read the post about Glass Houses here.. Oh, and also, if you want to make Alexa feel MUCH better about her bad review, there's nothing that salves that burn like ... copious Amazon orders. :)

Also, along those lines ... my beloved writing duo Preston & Childs have a fun Rogue's Gallery of bad reviews, with colorful responses. Enjoy.

-- Rachel

Date:	2009-05-25 20:21
Subject:	BEST. TRIP. EVER.
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	"The Little Things" - Danny Elfman

Seriously, yes.

England was completely amazing, and I will post some photos later, but here are a few brief highlights:

1. Got off the plane, took express train into London, navigated the Underground and ... got off at the wrong stop. Then had to GPS my way to the hotel over about a half a mile of streets, getting misdirected several times.

Bonus points for taking a wrong turn on Embassy Row. Fun fact: armed guards at embassies are NOT much amused by ladies dragging large suitcases in front of their buildings. However, I caught a clue before, y'know, being arrested.

2. Hotel room at the Melia White House was small, but kinda posh. By "small" I mean "barely adequate to hold me and a suitcase" -- however, as I was rarely there, it really was okay. (By the way: CORRECT tube stop was Great Portland Street. Highly convenient to the hotel, if only I had known.)

3. Tube stops visited during my trip: Paddington, Piccadilly, Oxford Circus, Baker Street, Waterloo, Euston Square, Regents Park, Green Park, Covent Garden, Great Portland Street. Warren Street ... gah. I've forgotten. Basically, I roamed a lot. And LOVED riding the Underground.

Bonus points for electing (thanks to my ever-lurking claustrophobia) to take the stairs at Covent Garden. Let's just say that I've never, ever seen so many stairs in my life. I believe it was approximately the height of the Empire State Building in reverse.

Bonus bonus points: for not dying tragically on the steps. Or falling down them.

4. Fantastic (and very tasty) tea at my publisher Allison & Busby's posh offices with Waterstones booksellers. FUN! So many wonderful people.

Bonus points for not eating too many cupcakes. Yay?

5. Totally wonderful signing at Trisha Telep's Murder One Film Club at the Home Bar in Shoreditch ... and a showing of LOST BOYS. An absolutely stellar bunch of folks, so kind and welcoming.

Bonus points for the gi-normous oversized printouts of the LORD OF MISRULE cover in the window of the bar!

6. Stock signings at Waterstones and Harrod's in London, as well as Forbidden Planet, OMG.

Bonus points for getting to pose with Fred the Dalek. And hear fun stories from the lovely folks at FP.

7. Train to Boston, where I gave a talk and signing at Boston High School (and the girls there are THE BEST, seriously, they made me so very welcome!) ... then did a signing at the bookstore as well before heading back to London. Again, SO much fun! (And thanks to Lesley for chaperoning me for the day.)

Bonus points for managing to do my Boston talk with a migraine. Whew. The kids made it so easy, with their enthusiasm and smiles!

8. Lunch with Charles at a truly incredible private club. YES.

Bonus points for the fresh asparagus starter. Nom nom nom!

Bonus bonus points for stumping a London black cab driver on where the club was located. Now that's the last word in *private*

9. Riding the London Eye. That was my afternoon of sightseeing, because I didn't have a lot of free time, but it was well worth the trip around the giant wheel!

Bonus points for, well, finding my way there and back, and not collapsing before reaching my hotel, finally.

10. Signing and talk in Stockport (which utterly ROCKED)! SO fun! Had a crowd of probably about 40 people for the talk, and even more for the signing.

Bonus points for the gigantic caramel mocha at the upstairs Starbucks.

11. Signing and overnight stay in Manchester -- another stunning success, so great to see so many people!

Bonus points for all the incredible downtown sights of Manchester -- loved the red brick buildings!

12. Train out to Lancaster for lunch with the lovely Penny at Waterstones, and another highly successful signing.

Bonus points for Lancaster, which may be my favorite town of all time; the lovely castle and abbey; Penny and Gary; the fantastic architecture; and homity pie.

Bonus bonus points for finding some perfect walking shoes at Clarks, and the best coin purse ever.

13. Finally, back to London for two more signings -- Bluewater @ Greenhithe, which was amazing as well, and finishing up at the Waterstones in Camden Town.

Bonus points for the beautiful, artistic mall, pirate cove miniature radio boats, the funky Goth vibe in Camden, and the lovely people who once again made me feel so, so welcome.

14. Last but not least, dinner with my dear friend George Tinsley -- 23 years and we still can talk for hours. Thanks for the beer and curry, and the pleasure of your company!

Bonus points for: my first actual London pub experience, near the Strand.


I humbly thank my wonderful friends at my British publisher Allison & Busby (Susie Dunlop, Lesley Brown, Chiara Priorelli, and the amazing cover artist Christina, who made LORD OF MISRULE a delectable special treat). And to Liz Thomson from BookBrunch. Also, heartfelt thanks to Charles Armitage for taking time from his busy schedule to lunch with me.

And all of the fabulously supportive booksellers, who treated me like visiting royalty.

AND ... of course ... to all of the people who took time from their own lives to come to the signings, and make them absolutely burst with excitement.

I am so, so grateful to you all.

You've made it so very hard to go back to work tomorrow ....!

-- R.

Date:	2009-05-15 23:00
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic

OFFICIAL CARPE CORPUS RELEASE CONTEST!

I love doing contests! And I think you might just love this one too, because I got really creative. Here's what you could win:

1. A custom Morganville High School letter jacket (yes, a real one, only the school is made up!) There's even a custom Morganville High School Vipers logo on the back!

2. A custom Morganville High School class ring!

3. & 4. A custom Morganville High School yearbook containing a short original story from Rachel Caine


In addition, all four Grand Prize Winners will receive signed copies of CARPE CORPUS.

Another 5 runners-up will receive signed copies of CARPE CORPUS.

DIRECTIONS FOR ENTERING:

Enter before midnight Central Time on June 1 to be eligible to win! Enter by emailing rachelcainecontests@gmail.com. You will receive a verification email response to let you know you've entered.

That's it! International entries are welcome!

Be sure to check back on my Myspace, Livejournal, Facebook and website for the announcement of the winners on Sunday, June 7!

Winners are chosen by random numbers, BUT if you are among the first 500 to enter, you will also be entered for a SPECIAL EARLY BIRD PRIZE! One entry per person, please. Duplicates will be deleted.

I'll have final photos up soon to show you these prizes -- they're still in the production stage, but they'll be here before the drawing!

--------------------------------------------------
And just a quick recap of upcoming releases ...

CARPE CORPUS (Morganville), June 2
GLASS HOUSES audiobook, June 9
STRANGE BREW, July 7
ETERNAL KISS, July 27
CAPE STORM (Weather Wardens), August 4
FADE OUT, November 6

British release of LORD OF MISRULE June 2
German release of GLASS HOUSES is already out

... okay, whew, I've got to go finish the second Outcast Season book. Holla back!

-- Rachel

Date:	2009-05-15 12:24
Subject:	ROSIE HUGHES: The Epilogue (and swag!)
Security:	Public
Mood:	hyper
Music:	Anything by Pink

So ... all of the authors involved in the Rosie Hughes Project are posting the Epilogue today, and yes, we've got swag (at the end). So, with no further ado ...

You've been waiting for this! You know you have. What happened to Max Hunter, and Mary-Sss after the exploding penguins took out the spa? And what about the hurricane? Find out all the answers here! And watch at the end for a special offer for Rosie Hughes fans!

_______________________

It had been so long since I’d tried the key in the lock that I had to struggle to turn it. I pushed open my apartment door, made more difficult by the pile of mail on the other side. My friend Ryk had told me he’d collect the mail and put it on the table, but apparently that didn’t last long.

The living room was cool and dark—just what I needed after what seemed like a lifetime of vampire hunting. I had to be absolutely certain that I removed the rest of Rosie Hughes’s “sales team” before the whole state of Florida was hanging upside down under bridges instead of sunning on the beach. I can’t begin to tell you how sick I am of the color pink. Pink shoes, pink hair, pink cars and the ever present pink cosmetic containers. If I saw just one more Suzy Q pink logo I was going to scream.

And I did. “Aaaahh!” Underneath the pile of past due, second notice and shut-off envelopes was another stinking PINK box, bearing the Suzy Q logo! I recoiled like it would bite me. The postmark was nearly a month ago, and was sent from some company named Slayer Productions in Los Angeles and was addressed to me care of my own address. Okay, that is just not fair. I’ve spent nearly six years cleaning up the entire east coast and one of them moved west?

I walked to the window, fully intending to toss it out into the dumpster below. I didn’t even care if it was bomb or free samples of eyeliner. They were nearly the same to me at this point. The pane went up and I held the box out with both hands, just to make certain it would drop straight down. That was when I noticed the printing on the bottom in virulent pink marker. I read it as it descended the two stories into the metal container.

If you don’t open this, Max, you’ll regret it. Mary-Beth, aka Mary-Ssss

What the hell!?

Mary-Ssss was dead. Killed when the building exploded. Or surely the hurricane got her. The whole block was devastated by that storm. We went to check back the next day, and although I looked for her—looked hard, there was no sign of the teenaged wanna-be slayer. I swore that day I would kill every vampire I met to avenge her death.

But what if she wasn’t dead?

I bolted down the stairs and around to the back of the building. The drunk guy who’d already laid his grubby hands on it dropped it abruptly and ran out into the street when I pulled the sawed-off from beneath my trench coat. Fortunately, he didn’t stick around long enough to realize the shotgun was actually a modified super soaker loaded with a combination of holy water and make-up remover. It looks more impressive than it is. But you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find vampires now that they can walk out in the sun. Yeah, I’ve gotten slapped more than once for soaking an innocent human, but it’s been more than worth it for the number of vamps who screamed as that ‘sunkissed bronze’ foundation dissolved just before the rest of them did.

I stared at the box, sorely tempted to put a couple rounds through it just to be safe. More than one vampire had heard Mary-Ssss’s name from my lips as I drove a stake into his or her heart. It could easily be a trap. And yet, minutes later I found myself cutting open the top as I plopped down in my recliner hard enough to raise a cloud of dust.

There was a DVD inside with “Play Me” written on the box. That was it. A whole lot of pink packing peanuts and a disk. Weird. Fortunately, when I decided to come back to town, I called ahead and had the power turned back on. With the apartment deemed part of the territory of The Fallen, the TV and player hadn’t wound up in some pawn shop yet.

“Welcome back to the Biography Channel special on Mary Beth. Of course, who hasn’t heard of the phenomenal vampire series The Slayer, still ranked at Number One in the Neilsen ratings for the third season in a row? Thank you so much for agreeing to our interview, Mary Beth. We know how you dislike cameras.”

The voice preceded the picture of the room’s other occupant. “Well, I don’t dislike them as much as they’re always scheduled for the daytime. Thank you for waiting until dark.” And there she was. Mary-Ssss. She looked good, even though she was dressed in pink satin. There was a confidence in her eyes that hadn’t been there when I knew her. She smiled just then and I felt my heart skip a beat. Fangs. I hadn’t saved her after all. She was a freaking vampire. My thumb hovered over the Off button, but something made me keep watching.

“Of course, after the season finale, you’ve got everybody wondering—what happened next? When Rosie Hughes died, what happened to you?”

Yeah. What did happen to you, Mary-Ssss—and how in the hell did you get a television show?

The kid, or actually, I suppose she isn’t a kid anymore, smiled again and I flinched again. The reporter was going to be toast and I was going to have to watch it. Because I couldn’t seem to turn it off.

Mary-Ssss took a deep breath. “Of course, you know that everything in the season really happened. There really was a Rosie Hughes, and her squad of undead cosmetics salesbats. I have to tell you, Sarah Michelle was amazing as Rosie. She really captured the essence of Rosie. Nobody else could have pulled off that pink leather catsuit with fur. Nobody!” Sarah Michelle? As in the Sarah Michelle (all hail!) who the kid had idolized? She was a guest star on the kid’s show. Oh, that had to have been something to watch. I found myself grinning and put the remote on the table. “But here’s what happened. As Max rode off into the sunset, I pulled myself out of the rubble. I thought about going back to the bar to tell them I was okay. But I wasn’t. Not really. Ryk—and isn’t he wonderful in the role of Max?!”

The reporter nodded and patted her chest while I stared at the screen in horror. Ryk played me? “Anyway, he and the bikers had done the best they could. I wasn’t completely a vampire, but I wasn’t human anymore either. I wouldn’t blame them at all if they flat staked me when they saw the fangs. So, I was scared and I ran.”

“You’ve really struggled with the blood thing haven’t you?”
Mary-Sss nodded and rolled her eyes. “You have no idea! After three days of cold sweats without blood, I was nearly crazy. Thankfully, the night I gave in and decided I was going to have to find a neck, the one I found was on his way to an AA meeting. He begged me not to kill him, because he’d just gotten his life back. Well, I figured a drinking problem was a drinking problem, so instead of killing him, I joined him at the meeting.”

The interviewer’s eyes widened. “I would imagine that was a little startling to the group.”

She shook her head. “Not as much as you’d think, actually. It was the only group in the little town I wound up in, so they had alcoholics and drug addicts and a few pedophiles. But they did pass around pencils for everyone to hold the first few meetings—just in case. I could hardly blame them, what with the glowing red eyes and all.” She laughed and her fangs became evident once more, but now I was more curious than worried. “I’m the world’s only blood-free vampire. It’s probably because I’m half human. Sushi and steak tartare do me just fine and there’s a terrific beet substitute out there that has all the same proteins.”

“And then you came to California, and the rest is history?”

Mary-Ssss laughed. “Hardly! No, it took me a couple of years to get my head on straight and get in touch with my inner slayer. I’m the real deal. I don’t have any stunt people on the show. I studied hard when I worked with Max—the real Max. I cleaned up the west coast while he was cleaning up the east. I heard stories about him and have worked very hard not to give away too much about him in the show. Nobody knows what he looks like or where he is. I’ve been very careful . . . because he can’t do the good work he does if the bats know he’s coming.”

Really? Way to go, Mary-Ssss!

There was a knocking on my door just then, and I hit the Pause button. A quick glance through the keyhole revealed Ryk and a couple of the guys. He looked good, too. Really good, like a week in a spa good, with some botox on the side. I opened the door and he grinned. “Saw your bike downstairs. Welcome home, Hunter! I see you got the box. Don’t worry, the kid doesn’t know where you are. I told her this was my place. She doesn’t want to know.”

I motioned to the screen. “Yeah, she just said that. What the hell though, preacher . . . you’re an actor now?”

He shrugged and stepped inside, the boys coming with him like they were attached at the hip. One passed me a beer, which I accepted gratefully and everybody took their normal place on the couch, like we’d seen each other last week, instead of the better part of a decade ago. “Yeah. I told you I had something interesting going on, when you called from West Virginia a while back, right?”

I nodded. “But acting? And what’s this show about anyway? Is it like the other vampire show, the one the kid was all hot about?”

Ryk nodded. “Yep, but a lot better. It was real, after all. We just wrapped up the third season. The first two seasons were our story. It got amazing ratings, Max. You can’t even believe what a hit it’s been. I just bowed out of the series. I want to get back to the bar and my old life. That whole Hollywood biz just isn’t my thing. I thought the story was important—and who better to make sure they got your persona right?—but that’s it. We wrapped up your story and now Mary-Beth is on to actual fiction. A whole new threat that’s nothing close to reality. But you really should finish watching this special, and you might actually get a kick out of the series. We made Line up the penguins into the latest teen catchphrase. Pretty cool, really.”

So we watched it. I laughed when I learned Mary-Ssss bought a controlling share of Suzy Q cosmetics to that “nothing like this could ever happen again.” I rolled on the floor when I saw the interview with the chauffeur that I thought I killed, but who wasn’t dead. Instead, she was the new regional sales rep for the make-up giant. And Jason, aka Jayce, the tranvestite, was now Suzy’s chauffeur. “Irony at its finest. I never was paid by those witches.”

“Like that matters anymore, huh?” Ryk laughed but it wasn’t really a laughing matter. I used my last hundred bucks to get power back in the apartment and unless I rolled the guys after they were drunk and emptied their wallets, I was going to be chewing on those pink peanuts by nightfall. There probably wasn’t anything left in my cupboards that I’d want to eat after this long, and even Mickey-D’s needs the green stuff.

“It’d be nice. I’ll be honest. It’s gonna be a little tight until I can get a job.” A little being an understatement.

“Didn’t she send the check? She said she was going to.”

Check? “What check?”

Ryk grabbed the box from the floor and dumped it out. Pink peanuts scattered all over the apartment, caught in the breeze from the window. He hit the bottom of the box and a white envelope fluttered out. “There it is. That wouldn’t be like Mary-Beth at all. She really worked hard to get your name on the contracts without you actually signing them.”

“Contracts?”

Jacobi rolled his eyes. “Royalties, Hunter. Don’t you know how the TV game works? Mary-Beth gets paid with royalties. So did Ryk, so do we. And so do you. I’ve been spending mine on a string of bikes, but if you haven’t touched yours yet, it’s gotta be pretty.”

He handed me the envelope just as the interviewer was wrapping up. “Is there anything else you’d like the audience to know, Mary-Beth?”

“Just one audience member in particular, Stacey.” She stared at the camera, her eyes glowing red over flamingo pink lipstick. “Max, if you’re out there, I just want to tell you thank you. If not for you, I would have died from loss of blood next to those exploding pink flamingoes. If not for you, I never would have believed how dangerous vampires could be. If not for you, I never could have gotten in touch with my inner slayer—because that slayer inside me is you. Rock on, Max Hunter. Keep fighting the good fight, and go out and buy something pretty and pink with all those zeroes.”

I opened the envelope. I’d never actually seen a check that required use of the entire ‘write out the check amount’ line because there were that many freaking words to print! All three of the guys laughed as the beer can dropped from my hand to splatter across the floor. I could buy my apartment. Hell, I could buy the whole stinking building. And a new bike, and a bar of my own. Or anything else I wanted. Holy pink vampires, catman!

Behind the check in the envelope was what made me laugh out loud, though. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe and until Ryk finally took the envelope from me. It was a notice of stock share. I owned exactly ONE share of Suzy Q cosmetics—donated on behalf of Rosie Hughes.

At least she was good for something.

________________________

Just who are the strange authors behind the Rosie Hughes saga?

C. T. Adams was born in Illinois. She spent seventeen years in the Denver metro area and now resides in Texas with a large dog and pet cats. Office work provided a living while she pursued the goal of becoming a novelist. Forming the partnership with Cathy Clamp was the catalyst that led to publication and the two have enjoyed a long and fruitful collaboration, with two series published within the Tor Paranormal Romance line: The Sazi, and the Kate Reilly/Thrall books. In addition they have authored stand-alone novels and participated in several anthologies. Working both as a team with Cathy and individually, Cie plans to be involved in writing novels for years to come. She’s now additional writing with Cathy Clamp under the pen name Cat Adams. They will have a brand new urban fantasy series, beginning with NIGHT SONGS coming out next summer under the Cat Adams name. She can be reached online at: http://www.catadams.net, or on her MySpace or Blogger blogs.

Rachel Caine is a fictional person who writes fiction. She (or her evil twin, at least) was born at White Sands Missile Range, New Mexico, which explains ... virtually everything about her. She loves books, exotic animals, and her wonderful husband R. Cat Conrad, who puts up with those first two things. She writes a bunch, at very odd times of the day, and currently has three series of novels running simultaneously: the Morganville Vampires series, the Weather Warden series, and the Outcast Season series. Some may say this is, in fact, insane. Some may be right. For more proof, visit her website at http://www.rachelcaine.com or catch up with her on Myspace, Livejournal, Facebook, and Twitter.

Cathy Clamp is a real person who also writes fiction. After a long career in law in Colorado (which many say is what warped her brain) she and her husband decided that the reason they lived in Colorado didn’t exist anymore and moved to Texas to raise goats and live in the middle of nowhere among the trees, rocks and cactus. After discovering that the comic books in her night stand nearly gave the moving men a hernia after a fire required new carpeting, she decided that perhaps she was, after all, a comic book geek, after all (her husband had been trying to convince her of it for twenty-odd years.) She co-authors the Sazi and Thrall novels with C.T. Adams under her real name and as Cat Adams and will be branching out into solo novels soon. She’s disgustingly available online, at http://catadams.net, on LiveJournal, Blogger, MySpace, Twitter and at multiple online writing forums. Just Google her name and she’s hard to miss. They will have a brand new urban fantasy series, beginning with NIGHT SONGS, coming out next summer under the Cat Adams name.

Jackie Kessler used to run around in Wonder Woman Underoos and watch Challenge of the Super Friends. Now she writes about superheroes and watches cartoons with her kids. She lives in upstate New York with her Loving Husband, two Precious Little Tax Deductions, one curmudgeonly cat, and about 8,000 comic books. When she's not working on stories about superheroes (or about beating the snot out of superheroes), she tends to write about demons. For more about Jackie and BLACK AND WHITE, visit her website: http://www.jackiekessler.com

Bradley H. Sinor has seen his short stories published in numerous anthologies, such as DRACULA IN LONDON, BUBBAS OF THE APOCOLYPSE, HAUNTED HOLIDAYS, ON CRUSADE, GATEWAYS, SMALL BITES, PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO KILL, ALL HELL BREAKING LOOSE, SPACE CADETS, HOUSTON, WE GOT BUBBAS, THE GRANTVILLE GAZETTE and RING OF FIRE 2. Three collections of his short fiction have been released by Yard Dog Press, DARK AND STORMY NIGHTS, IN THE SHADOWS, and PLAYING WITH SECRETS (which also features two stories by his wife Sue Sinor.) His newest collection of stories ECHOES FROM THE DARKNESS is from Arctic Wolf Press. He has also seen his non-fiction appear in a variety of magazines and anthologies. His latest essays can be found in STEPPING THROUGH THE STARGATE, THE CHERRYH ODESSEY, and HOUSE UNAUTHERIZED. Bradley H. Sinor’s blog can be found at http://sinor-sb13.livejournal.com and his website is http://www.zettesworld/Sinor/index.htm.

Sue Sinor started writing at the urging of her husband, Brad. She also is involved with community theatre, both on and off stage. Together, she and Brad are the caretakers and household staff for two cats, Pewter and Ashe. She has stories in several Yard Dog Press publications: International House of Bubbas, Flush Fiction and, in collaboration with her husband, the chapbook Playing With Secrets and a story in Houston, We Got Bubbas. They also have a story in the anthology Rotten Relations. She also has two stories in the charity anthology Small Bites.

And now! Our special surprise to you! We're going to be making TEE-SHIRTS of the Rosie Hughes Project! All proceeds are going to go to a charity that even Rosie herself would support -- the Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer Foundation (a very "pink" charity!)

The link to Rosie Hughes swagerrific stuff!

Come on, you know you want it ...



Happy Rosie Hughes Day!

-- Rachel